I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
