I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
