I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
