she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
