I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
