nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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