READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
