...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
