Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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