i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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