my mouth tastes like poor choices
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
