You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
