i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
