I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
