Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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