I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
