you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize