ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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