It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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