My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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