Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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