Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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