tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
