I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
