Buhtt sex?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
