Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
