i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
