Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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