oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
