i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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