i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
