Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize