How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
