Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
