She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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