I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
