HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
