just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have aggressive nipples.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
