Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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