nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
