so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
