he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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