i'm lost and i look like a hooker
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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