He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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