sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
