chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
