If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
