I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
