the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
