I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize