i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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