he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
