I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
