I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
pray to the hookup gods
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
