and you said cock pushups were impossible
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
