Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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