Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
