ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
