I'm drive I can fine osifer
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
