im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
