I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
